Debbie Downer

I had a moment of anxiety last night about going to the University of Portland. I thought "Hey, I wanna be a famous writer or something - why am I majoring in English?!"

Stupid fucking thought, I know. But it got me thinking: I got to major in Creative Writing, not English. Which only kind of makes sense. It makes sense in the sense it is about writing, doesn't make sense in the sense that scent cents English.

What. Sorry. I was on a roll!

Creative Writing Major = WRITING.

English = READING.

That's how it squares off in my head. So, while I am in a fantastic huff about it I am applying to 3 colleges to enter a Creative Writing Major Program. Though it is a lot of hard work. A lot of writing! Poetry! I know nothing of poetry. Why do I have to turn in a 10 page poem book? I ain't know how to rhyme.

Poetry is for clowns who cry too much
Hey, that sounds like me.
Why don't I write a poem as such,
Clever like a bee
I gotta sneeze.

Is that how it's done?? I don't think so. My pentameter and stuff was all FUNK. Not enough soul. I had a wise teacher once tell me, "All funk and no soul doesn't make a Creative Writing major, you." I finally get what he was trying to say! I have to have funk and soul to make creative writing, me.

Soooooooooo... here I am, should be sleeping... instead I am writing essays to let me into schools that seem a little bit more my speed.

I am applying to Emory, NYU, and Colorado College. They all have rad creative writing courses that make my heart sing!

When I said "a little bit more my speed" I meant "Expensive and elite Universities/Colleges that are kinda far and intimidate me." I just wanna learn how to write good. I wanna be like someone famous! LIKE OMG I DON'T KNOW NAME SOMEONE FAMOUS.

Please. I'll be them! I'll be them x.9. Where is my confidence!

I'm not so sure any of them will give me the time of day, and hey, that's cool. I don't even go out in the sunlight anyway. I don't need the TIME. I MAKE MY OWN TIME.


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Sigh - what am I going to do when I decide to go into dental hygiene or something like that instead?