Crush of the Day

I have been reading a lot of Dorothy Surrenders lately. She does weekly posts (people can do that?!) called "My Weekend Crush" or something. If you like lesbians go check out her blog, ya'll. And if you don't like lesbians then please go walk into the mouth of a lion because you don't deserve to live. Lesbians are really cool! And pretty! Sometimes. They're pretty cool though! Except the uncool ones.

So, her weekend crushes got me to think about my own. Not that I have crushes on the weekend. I just have them sometimes. Usually when Girlfriend is gone and I'm alone and sad and cold and no one is there to warm me except my computer and Proteus and Proteus isn't very warm despite his tank being like 80 degrees and omg what a lucky fish.

I have always thought girls were attractive... because I've always been a lesbian. But there was a point in my life where I had to think about who(m? help me) I was saying was good looking. I could say Jennifer Aniston  was attractive because all girls think she is. If I started saying like... "Cherry Jones is a fox!" people would give me side glances and accuse me of being a GAY. That would be unnerving. Thankfully there came that moment I could say, "Hold on bizsnatch, you're gay," to myself. Now I find it very comfortable to say girls are sexy fine foxes! In fact I think I should do it more often.

Hey, you. Yes you, I find you attractive!

Oh! My goodness. I am so sorry! I thought you were a lady! It's okay. You're still okay to look at.

;)

*Ahem* I'll be forthwith. I have been crushing like mad on Ellen DeGeneres lately. My sister and I were watching her show the other day and when she started dancing I was like HOT DAMN. It was really ridiculous. I got all sweaty and collapsed on the floor. Thankfully the family dog resuscitated me. Sigh, it's kind of a mixed pleasing. If I had slipped into a coma I may have been with Ellen forever in my dreams...

Just kidding! Girlfriend I love you! The most!

I think I am getting a thing for older ladies though... because my crush of the day has been:

RACHEL MADDOW.

All that is Moldy!! - how did I not know she existed until today? Okay, I knew about her... but I didn't KNOW about her. She was a faceless name! A woman with no purpose! Now she has one - to keep a place in my heart. A small, dark place... forever.

Do you know who that lady is on the far left? That is Megan Rapinoe. Girlfriend is in love with her. She wants me to be her. Well, I want Girlfriend to be Rachel Maddow! Also; who is that tool in the back? Fuck. Rachel is in the middle.

SHE IS A DOG LOVER! Or just loves to pose with them! Who cares! Look at her!

Back in '98. Jesus!!! Christ. Dammit.

Alright, well I am going to take a really hot shower now.