Do what you love

The Oatmeal posted this comic somewhat recently about ... I'm not going to tell you. I want you to read it!

Done?

Okay. Yes, it is a little tl;dr. I do think there is a lot of truth in it though. Actually, I think it is all true. Everything he says in the comic I have felt at sometime if not all the time. I don't just mean for the blog, because honestly we know I don't blog enough for it to really count (yet). I mean for my writing in general. Someday's I can lock myself in my room and get nothing done, someday's I can go for a walk in a new neighborhood and still nothing. I can sit at a coffee shop, a bus stop, a drug den... and still nothing! It is these weird moments of clarity when I realize what I should be writing.

Sometimes it works, most times it doesn't. I have written pages of complete and utter shit just to get one paragraph out of it in the end. And it's worth trudging through that crap to get a gem.

I think the part I like the most is asking for help on what to write. Someone could tell me they think I should write about a trip going to grandma's and I end up writing about a fifty-year-old suffering with a fear of Jell-o. I love the baffled looks I get when someone reads a story they know started from something else. The bounds of imagination are much looser than you'd think.

(Homework - give me a prompt or sentence on what to write about. Maybe I'll post what I can come up with!)

No, I'm not a "writer". I don't get paid for it - I'm not even well known. But perhaps one day I will be. That is really all the matters to me - the 'maybe'. 

Related/Unrelated - 

My teacher read us a poem in class the other day that I have been meaning to show you guys. 

Failing and Flying

By Jack Gilbert

Everyone forgets that Icarus also flew. It's the same when love comes to an end, or the marriage fails and people say they knew it was a mistake, that everybody said it would never work. That she was old enough to know better. But anything worth doing is worth doing badly. Like being there by that summer ocean on the other side of the island while love was fading out of her, the stars burning so extravagantly those nights that anyone could tell you they would never last. Every morning she was asleep in my bed like a visitation, the gentleness in her like antelope standing in the dawn mist. Each afternoon I watched her coming back through the hot stony field after swimming, the sea light behind her and the huge sky on the other side of that. Listened to her while we ate lunch. How can they say the marriage failed? Like the people who came back from Provence (when it was Provence) and said it was pretty but the food was greasy. I believe Icarus was not failing as he fell, but just coming to the end of his triumph. Remember to always do what you love - even if you're bad at it. You can always get better.

I'm really drunk right now and... kinda hate all my friends cause I realize they all are in relationships and I'm all, "Fuck you, I'm a fucking unicorn."

SUck my baaaaaaaaaalls, biatch. I may be single but at least I'm not S.E. Cupp, that girl is aaaaaaaaaaannnoying and has ugly glasses.

I'm a fucking rainbow licking unicorn, so forget all you happy gnomes. Pfft

Also I am kinda drunk right now, so I'll just blog about the Vampire Diaries later and make it all better.
sorry.

AND FORGET ALL YOU COUPLED JERKS :D

SINGLE FOR LIFE.

SFL.

Ya. Represent.

rainbow licking unicorn

also: 

ugh.



edit: I want to be the Batman right now. I wanna go through the town and tell people they fall so they can rise and omg I wanna kick someone in the face. WHY AREN'T I KICKING IDIOTS IN THE FACE. But I wanna do it without clothes on.

I wanna be NAKED BATMAN.

another (sober) edit: Wtf. Blogging is dangerous. Drunk blogging is super dangerous! I vaguely remember this and I regret that I actually published it. Oh well, here it is!

I do like the whole Batman thing, just not naked Batman. I wanna not naked Batman.

This is what I will now strive for, thank you Drunk Rachael. I will be Not Naked Batman! 

You heard it here first

I don't expect I'll be alive this time next year. My body is slowly, but surely, shutting down.

Yesterday, while working out (yes I still do that), I started to get dizzy. I thought I was just dehydrated so I decided to just drink more water the rest of the night. After working out I had to go to yoga. I felt like my nose was going to bleed the entire time, this tingly sensation in my sinuses and that metal taste in my mouth. It never did, though. There was this intense pressure behind my eyes.

I was like, whatever. I drank some more water and went to bed, I thought I was probably tired at this point. Besides a nightmare of vampires taking over the world (thank you Vampire Diaries for that), I slept fine. I got up early and took a shower. While trying to get ready I felt dizzy again, and the headache was coming back. I laid down and when I got up I was late too class. So I skipped it! Best thing to do - right? :D SCHOOL SUCKS - EVERYONE SHOULD DROP OUT.

I'm kidding. I love school! Everyone should go back :D

Anyway. I realized it wasn't getting better so I stuffed my face with doughnut holes. Good life choices, mate!

I get sick all the time. All. The. TIME. I hate it! I just learned to start ignoring it, unless it is really bad. I am pretty sure I have a shitty immune system due to both my parents smoking 24/7 when I was a kid. Around 5am I would be woken up by the stench of a cigarette my dad left in the toilet before he went to work. EVERY MORNING. It was disgusting. All my food tasted like cigarettes too, it was terrible. I mean, it could just be I am highly susceptible to illness. Maybe I eat too much junk food, maybe it's the dead rat's I have hanging in my room, or the flies that are living in their corpses. I don't know! Shit, it could be God punishing me for not believing in him.

Even though I get sick all the time, this seems different. I don't feel sick, just... weird.

I was playing with my nephew, bouncing balls, and I started to see the trail of the balls... like lingering images of where they had been. Just for a second. It made me nauseous. When I was walking down the stairs I saw the door at the bottom move to the right and slide back to place. I fell in the bathroom thinking I was going to trip on the rug, but I wasn't even by it. I was reading a book and realized I had read the wrong side of the page at least two times. I've been talking to the wall and calling it Aunt Sally.... maybe.

Anyway, my head has felt like it has been bulging all day. It's annoying. The pressure behind my eyes is still there and my vision is getting blurry. The light irritates me, and so I have my computer turned all the way day. Hm...


Here are potential causes I'm considering:
My body will no longer process water and I must find new ways to hydrate myself
Brain tumor (I have like... 5 symptoms!)
My brain is growing bigger
Bacterial infection
I'm transitioning to a vampire (thank you Vampire Diaries)
I need glasses

If I do die in a year, and it is unexplained please refer back to this post... or start whittling your stakes because there is a vampire on the loose... (thank you Vampire Diaries).

Dorothy Surrenders: Four more

Dorothy Surrenders: Four more: It was a good night for hope. It was a good night for love. It was a good night for progress. It was a great night for America. President Ob...

I just realized I have over 2500 page views for the blog. Thank you to whichever one of you has clicked the refresh button over 2430 times. You are blessed.

Have a picture of dessert I made back in June.

I am sure it is still edible.

I want to blog, but just had a Slurpee and a big bag of flaming hot Cheetos. I feel sick and am suffering from a major headache. Why did I do this.

Here is a picture of me in a really cool sweater:

Click on it, save, make background to computer.

I am going to detox now.