My last long blog was really awful, I know... so I am going to make it up to you guys soon. Not right now because I am really nervous about school tomorrow and can't seem to think straight...

I am in fact going to do Medifast, though I only plan on doing it a month. If I like it then I'll go another month, but I'm not looking to lose a shit ton of weight super fast. Though of course that'd be lovely! Absolutely lovely. Medifast should be here next week! Maybe.

I apologize

I have no idea what I was posting last night and I am really sorry about that.

Go strong!

What am I saying. WHY AM I SAYING IT.

It's late, I'm really tired, I need to brush my teeth. Of course I am up and not brushing my teeth though! Oh agony.

I wanted to go to bed 6 hours ago, but I missed it. I am going to go to bed soon but missed my blog and wanted to do a fun update!

Update 1:
I never told you guys about my super fun awesome and taxing trip to Seattle/other WA places. Sorry about that! It was super fun awesome and taxing, so I gotta share some digs with you guys!

I don't know what I am even saying. What am I saying.

Update 2:
I am way too tired to be blogging/functioning right now. So sorry about that.

Update 3:
Girlfriend wants me to do Medifast. Have you heard of it? Click here to find out more fun stuff!

Now have you? I, too, wonder why they are medifast1.com and not just medifast. I am too scared to try and go to medifast.com and see if it was taken. What if medifast.com is a spam site and killer robots find me and chop off my head and eat it and gain my power and take over the world because I am so powerful that robots can take over the world after eating my flesh??????

Hot damn I am really tired! I am really jealous of people who can write when they are tired and not make mistakes. I am consistently misspelling words and it is no fun. Well, misspelled in the way that write becomes right, sight becomes site, left becomes up, and phone becomes cheese.

Also - the television isn't shut off and so now it is blinking in anger of all the energy I am wasting but I know if I get up I am going to go to bed. I am too committed to this blog though!

So, anyway, I think I am going to do it. There is some jazz about it being created by cardiologists and that is chill with me because I have a really high cholesterol (even before I was an obese monster). It kind of scares me because my doctor told me I wasn't going to live a long and happy life. Just a short and shitty one! She looked into the future and saw nothing but death and failure.

My doctor was a gypsy apparently.

So yeah, I am supposedly on the fast track to death right now and I wanna hop off that track and onto the hill of not death. You know in movies when they hop from a train and roll down a hill? I wanna do that. It will be painful and miserable, but oh well.

This is why Girlfriend says Medifast is the way - at least to help lose some weight the first month. I am super skeptic about diets, but why not. It can't kill me, right!? Right? D:

If you need to know - after I moved to Portland from Seattle (I moved from Naches, WA in 2008 and lived in Seattle until July of 2009) I weighed 140 pounds. I wasn't really that skinny, but I was okay with it. I have no idea how much I weighed before I moved to Seattle or during my Seattle stay because I never had a scale. I remember I wanted to get down to 120, but never thought of exercising or diet because I was poor and walked everywhere in Seattle. I ate once a day, sometimes I skipped eating. What a great diet plan!! :D

No it wasn't, don't do that. That isn't healthy.

I kind of stopped caring about weighing myself and stopped walking everywhere and had a job and food and money. I don't know how much I weighed between the time I was 20 to 21, but I know after I turned 21 I gained a lot of weight. A LOT OF WEIGHT. Like 30 pounds in 3 months.

I went from 140 to 200 pounds. I don't know when I gained all the other weight, but it happened.

Doesn't that kill you! Bet you can't stop laughing and/or crying right now!

I am pretty okay with my weight... except that I can't where most of my old clothes, stretch marks, not cute as I was.

Okay, so I'm not okay with it.

This is why: MEDIFAST.

And working out and stuff. Girlfriend and I try to walk 3 miles at least 4 times a week. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. She is wanting to lose weight as well. Only 20 pounds (which isn't a small amount, but it is compared to my 60 I want to lose). I eventually want to lose 80 pounds, but 80 looks like so much more than 60 that it kills me. KILLS ME.

Do you wanna know why I wanna lose weight though, really? I'll tell you...: ZOMBIES! I am so worried that if there is some tragedy or war or whatever like a Zombie Apocalypse that I'd die because I am fat and can't run or do things.

I am trying to eat better too, but it isn't working so far. That is why I am going to try Medifast, to start my body loving not eating 303855 calories a day and loving to eat 300 or whatever calories you're allowed to eat with Medifast.

If I do do it, I'll update and let you guys know what's up with it, but don't expect me to post pictures and junk.

Update ??:
I forgot where I was because I went on that tangent... Oh, well! Did I tell you I'm not watching the kids anymore? Probably. I think I did. I have been watching them a long while now (my niece and nephew) and it is really weird not doing it anymore. I am trying not to butt in and set them straight since my sister is watching them now all day and I don't want to undermine her, but it is so hard sometimes! Not undermining her, setting them straight. I immediately went on that Seattle/WA trip (which took like 9 days or whatever) after I was done watching them and I woke up a couple times crying because I missed them.

REAL MEN DON'T CRY.

Fuck.

I am such a woman though. And real women cry a lot. Some real women don't. Other real women don't cry hardly at all (like Girlfriend). Men cry too, btw. Okay. EVERYONE CRIES. Phew.

Update err 4?:
Fall Term is starting soon. I am going to Portland CC another year because U of P was way expensive and I need 4000 more to go there. I need a new job! WHhhhhHy.

I'll be taking adv creative writing, yoga, a class about volcanoes, intro to drawing, and a health class! I will also be doing improv :D. I really hope I don't have a stalker that is going to figure out my schedule because that is really scary. :(

I will update you on my classes, Medifast, and whatever the fuck else whenever I feel you need to be updated.

But Medifast won't happen until I get financial aid. And only if I don't need my financial aid badly. Because it is EXPENSIVE.

Sweet dreams! :D

Mice

I have been working on this post forever! I don't know why I am being so lazy! This happened probably about 3 months ago...

---

Girlfriend and I broke up for a while, a week exactly. It was one of the worst weeks I have ever experienced. Girlfriend seemed to take it well, so good for her. Bitch. Just kiddddddddddding, Girlfriend. Stop crying!

I was going to blog about it all but decided to try and keep the whole ordeal mostly private. It was a difference of opinion/life style thing and I wasn't looking to embarrass either of us. Or jeopardize us getting back together... Anywwwwway... It was a Thursday night when we broke up (I broke up with her, ahem) and a Thursday afternoon when we got back together. She was adamant that she make me dinner and that the two of us drink massive amounts of wine. It's her way of saying "Sorry" or "I am going to murder you and eat your flesh later and need you massively intoxicated so you don't know what is going on". I'm not sure... What I am sure of is this: she understands me unlike anyone else... She gets me. She knows that you need to give me food and wine to quiet my anger. I am so lucky.

This is why I love Girlfriend. We made Sangria with bubbly wine, grilled chicken, and ate fresh strawberry salad, and rescued baby mice.

ROMANCE KILLER ALERT: Always check the grill before you barbecue unless you want to be surprised by something.

It was all set, beautiful! I made the salad, she prepared the chicken. We made sangria together. She goes to open the grill and and I hear her longing voice... far off and sultry. "Uh, Rachael. Can you come here?"

"This better be good," I was about to pour myself my first goblet of the sangria.

She points to something in the grill, I tell her that she's disgusting and needs to take better care of her things. In the back of the grill is a big mound of leaves, fur, thread, etc.

"I think it's a nest!" she says. Sure, I think. We just got back together and she's trying to win me over, doesn't want me thinking she's a slob (because there can only be one! And it's me. I'm the slob.)

I move in, testing the waters. I blow on the nest a little. Rattle the grill. Howl. Then I see it; something gray and tiny writhing. Then I see IT; something gray and big, running. Baby mice and momma mouse.

"TURN ON THE GRILL. KILL THEM!" I shriek. End their suffering - they aren't long for this world and I was hungry!

"Uh..." Girlfriend looked at the nest. "I think that's not... uh... Okay."

"You're right," I say. What was I thinking. "Take them out, clean them, then grill them!" tonight will be a good feast, I thought.

"Rachael..."

":("

"Be honest..."

":'("

"Go on..."

"FINE. We need to save them. WE NEED TO SAVE THEM. Find a box, stat!" I went into super savior mode. I was trying to act tough for Girlfriend, but I CANNOT LET A BABY ANIMAL SUFFER. Or something. I don't know. If we had just walked off and baked the chicken all woulda been fine.

Girlfriend comes back with gloves and a strawberry box. She informs me the mom will kill the babies if our scent rubs onto the babies. I cry in horror. I stop crying after an hour and realize "Eh, it's nature."

---
So, this is where I left off... However many months ago. I am going to try and remember what happened but errr...
---

We battle through time and space to capture the babies which actually is much easier than it sounds. We just lifted the nest up and place it into the strawberry box. The hard part was the mom ran off with three of the babies. We tried getting her out of the grill and after about two minutes she jumped from the grill onto Girlfriend's porch that is on the second level. We then proceeded to lose the mother mouse and can only assume she fell to her death, but not before dropping another mouse.

We saved four mice, lost two and the mother.

What a good day!

Hahaha, ya, no. Since the mother was gone it was up to us to either leave the mice in the forest or help them. We helped them because I wanted to raise them and use them in my SUPER MOUSE CIRCUS.

I searched the internet for help, learning to feed them soy baby formula every 2 hours.

You also have to rub their baby bellies after feeding to help them to do their business.

I can't remember, but I think our mice were 8 days old. Furry and gray, but eyes closed.

That is a bad picture, but fuck you'll live!

They were adorable, they were sweet, they were hard to feed, and they made squeaking noises that freaked me out and kept me constantly checking on them.

We made a small nest for them in my niece's fish tank stuffed with hand warmers, cotton balls, and tissue. It was pretty good - except that you HAD TO FEED THEM EVERY TWO HOURS. I'm not sure if you missed that earlier, because I didn't think it was a big deal at first either. Except it is.

I realized I wasn't going to make it at 4am the next day. I had homework I wasn't able to do because I was tired, my brain was barely working. After a whole day of feeding and squeezing them free of poop I knew it was over for me. I woke up with my alarm, in tears. Girlfriend woke up. 

"I can't do it! Just bury them in the back! I give up!"

"You'll just cry harder if you do that."

"I don't know what to do though. I am so tired and I have homework and I am watching the kids in a day and I can't do this anymore!"

I would be able to stop feeding them every two hours in like four days I think, but this was ridiculous. I wouldn't be able to feed them while in class and running errands. I flew too close to the sun.

That next day we gave them to a pet store that I am pretty sure froze them or fed them live to a snake.

RIP BABY MICE

I have fat hands.

Also, I miss them sometimes.

Snapped back

Back home after a week away. I forgot to even say I was leaving I think, so OOPS. I will be blogging soon about my mad adventures you all missed out on. Right now I need to figure out how to life again. Unpack, clean fish tank, sleeeep.

SEE YOU BABYCAKES