BRAINS 'N BURGERS: Seattle Pride

I went to Seattle Pride this last weekend with Girlfriend. It was a lot of fun because A) Gay people! B) Lots of alcohol consumption! C) Girlfriend held my hand and kissed me in public!

Oh the magic!!

Despite the massive amounts of fun, there were still downfalls like 1) I was supposed to see my friend, but never did. It's been two years since I've seen him and oh my heart! I miss him a lot. 2) Saturday night was a shit show, people going to the clubs so I didn't get my drink on nearly enough! 3) Naked men.

Oh the horror!

I want to tell the story in PICTURES. This seems good. Kinda.

Day 1 -
I have no pictures of this day. Sorry. It was probably the most interesting! So, there goes my "tell the story in PICTURES" thing.

We were supposed to go up on Saturday, but Adam sent me a text saying we should come up ASAP on Friday. Dreams DO come true, Adam. We made your dream come true!

We drank A LOT. It was awesome. FYI young children reading this: Drinking is bad for you; but AWESOME. Do a lot of it sometimes when you are of the legal age.

First, we went to Lobby. I got two Whiskey Sours and a Lemon Drop shot (they are Girlfriends favorite!). I was pretty smashed after that because I rarely drink now-a-days. Lobby was a lot of fun because Adam's guy friend was there clinging unto him and saying how cute he was. It was pretty cute but poor Adam just wanted to be alone with his homies. Girlfriend and I talked a lot with this other guy, but honestly I can't remember most of what we talked about. He was super nice and we even ran into him at the Parade thingy.

Anyway. Adam took a cab back to his place with his boy, left him there, came back. Party continues! I am pretty sure we wandered over to R Place after that, though I could be wrong. I think I am wrong. Hold on let me call Girlfriend.

She didn't answer, so I am just going to say we wandered over to R Place.

I remember girlfriend saying I should get water, but I was convinced I needed one more shot. A Kamikaze, quick and harmless. Something like that.

That was the best drink I have ever had. Or so I thought at the time. It was extremely refreshing and got me all super charged to dance... until I actually started. Somebody came up to talk to Adam and I took that little break to jab my thumb nail in my eyelid. Thankfully I was drunk so I was invincible, but then again I was drunk so I didn't realize it. Sometimes it still hurts, so I'm pretty sure I damaged something. So be it!

After Adam was done with his conversation, I told him I had to find Girlfriend and let her know I was injured. We made our way over where we left her but she wasn't there.

SOMEONE TOOK GIRLFRIEND.

Or at least that is what my drunk self thought. I flew like a master ninja down the flights of stairs and there she was. Not taken, but alone and scared! Tears were in her eyes, so thankful was she that she embraced me and took me to her bed chamber right there! It was beautiful.

After she took me to her bed chamber/I blacked out for a while, we crossed the street to get her cigarettes. Girlfriend smokes when she drinks. It's sick, disgusting, and ugh! I smoked one or two, as well. I didn't want her to be sick and disgusting by herself. Some Asian dude came up and started telling us how is friend Roy (I only remember his name because he was Asian as well and I was thinking "HAHA ROY IS YOUR NAME" the whole time) was being mean and wouldn't let them stay or drive home. I'm not sure what it was.

I knew it was my time to shine. I took a cigarette, or I took my cigarette out of my mouth, and walked to Roy.

"I huuurd yur mad... take the cig n b HAAAPPPUYY lol!" is probably what I sounded like.

"Nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!" is probably how he sounded. He slapped the cigarette from my hand and continued to yell at his friends.

That was okay, that was fine. I sauntered back to Asian dude and Girlfriend, thinking I was cool. I slipped and you know what? I was still cool. No one offered to help me off the ground, but whatever. I was cool. Apparently Girlfriend fell as well but her ankle is still gross, mine was just hurt. Roy came up and apologized, showing a burn from the cigarette on his pinky. It was pretty gross.

I don't know what happened to them. I don't really understand what happened next, to be honest. Either we went to eat or we went to pee. Let's say we ate first.

What I remember is seeing Adam sitting down and I thought I should too. I remember Adam suddenly having a hot dog in his hand and exclaiming there was cream cheese in it.

"No way is there cream cheese! That's weird!"

"*MUMBLEMUBMBLELBUMBLE*"

"Oh my gosh! There is cream cheese!" because suddenly there was a hot dog in my hand and I was devouring it.

Girlfriend and Adam later told me some homeless dude asked me if he could get a hot dog from us, in which case I said "No man, I can't help," while stuffing a hot dog in my face and enjoying every fucking second of it.

I don't remember finishing the dogs, but when we did we were on a quest to urinate. We stopped at Subway, but the guy was all "NO KEYS NO KEYS" and I was all, "Lol, dude, you are LYING". Later we would decide he thought we were too drunk to go into the bathroom, even though Adam was standing in line to pretend to get a sandwich! It seemed like such a good plan.

But shit, we had to pee bad. I said we should find an alley, but we never made it. Adam ran to a bush and let loose. Girlfriend ran into the bushes after he was done and peed. I was so happy! Finally, I can pee! I jumped in once Girlfriend was done and IT WAS AMAZING. Nothing has felt so good! It was interrupted by another homeless man, or the same one trying to sabotage the BEST PEE EVER. Fear won over and I had to force myself to stop. I pulled up my pants and that's the last thing I remember. Adam has some pictures of me being drunk and stupid back at his place, so I'll try and get those from him and post them for you.

Day 2 -

We probably went to bed around 4am. I woke up at 830am. I made Girlfriend wake up, then Adam woke up because I was being annoying. They hated me!

The scenic view from Adam's

After a couple hours of being miserable we made our way to Pho Than Bros on Broadway. Adam had to be at work at 12, it was 11:10a by the time we got our food so we ate all the noodles we could as fast as we could. It was an adventure that gives me a headache to remember.

Adam worked in Bellevue so it was sort of a drive, especially since we had to stop and get his work clothes near the U District. He was only a couple minutes late, so props to us man.

Girlfriend and I had the whole day to ourselves after that! And I really can't say it was that exciting. We bought Adam a pillow and towels because boy was lacking. We joked about making some reality show called "2 Lesbians and a Gay Guy" in which lesbians attempt to make peoples lives more practical with a budget of 20 dollars. We'll make it to the top mom, don't you worry!

I took this picture on the way to the mall. I thought my hair looked good, what the hell was I thinking? I obviously need to brush my hair.

I just realized I have hardly any pictures of Adam! What the hell. The ones I do are unflattering!

Cropped Girlfriend out since, you know. You can stare at the boobs in this one! Whatever.

That day was boring, I told you! Well, not boring to me, but boring to the world.

Day 3 - Parade!

We got together with my friend Brittany and her girlfriend. We got ice cream and she lost her phone, it was sad! But Girlfriend got to see the Pike's Place Market. That was kind of cool. Except it stinks.

I am going to try and hide faces of people not in the parade. I'm not very good at this though! I'll just post a few, maybe I'll post more when I don't have a homework assignment due in an hour! Oops!