Stalking the Night Away...

WHY THE FRAK CAN'T I SLEEP. What is this junk! I hate it! HATE IT. (advisory - this post is somewhat nutso, please don't hate me)

I have a fairly busy day tomorrow, and I planned on shutting down by 10pm, but no. It is humid, I watched a few terrifying episodes of Dr. Who, and the neighbors are being obnoxious. Nothing ever goes my way! Dr. Who should be less scary, the neighbors should just move already (there is a FOR SALE sign in their front yard, thank the stars) and the weather should be less... humidy.

GAH!!

Okay, yes. I get it. The only reason I am really still awake is because I am on the computer over stimulating my mind with bright lights. So be it.

Whenever I can't sleep, like legitimately CAN'T sleep (not that silly fall asleep and waking up, just never falling asleep) I get on Facebook. A lot. Like every five minutes. Hoping - just hoping - someone has made an interesting post. It never happens because it is almost 12am and who the hell has deep thoughts they would want to share with Facebook this late?

Someone odd will make a post or be mentioned though. That someone is almost always someone I went to high school with. The post is boring, but I click on the person anyway. I see this person is doing well in their life and this makes me ANGRY. They have traveled or they have lived overseas. They are making a name for themselves - they are living the DREAM. MY dream. They didn't have these dreams in High School - I DID. Not them. ME.

ME ME ME

Get it?

Yes, I turn absolutely hysterical at night and there is nothing you can say to make me sane again.

I know this person who is doing sooo well for themselves must be friends with other kids doing great things. I look for them.

What was their name? Shit...

W something? Or was it V?

I look up someone I can remember was their friend, look at their pictures to find this original person but become engrossed in how well their life is. Finishing college, boyfriends, cute clothes, small butt. I hate them! I remember how awful they were back in school, but hell. Personality means nothing when you're adorable!

Finally I find the person I was looking for. They will be cute, too! Their perfect hair. Teeth. College. Boyfriends.

Oh please please be a crack addict!!

I click on their profile picture. Nothing happens. Info? Nothing. Cover photo? Just one photo.

Who is this person! Why are they so perfect that I can't partake in their perfection?

My world is crashing around my ears, old memories rushing in... I remember... I remember... Suddenly, there it is. I am no better or worse than this person. I am becoming obsessed! I didn't give two or even ONE shit about them back in school. Hell, my school was god awful and I'm happy to have forgotten it for so long. They are a part of a bad memory I want to bury.

I log off of Facebook, and I go to bed happy... Happy knowing I am perfectly happy with Girlfriend. Perfectly happy with my clothes. Perfectly happy with my job, friends, and what have you.

Facebook is so horrible, so consuming. I wish I could delete my Facebook for once and for all... but how do I say goodbye to it?? Think of how much more sleep I'd be getting if I could...

Sweet dreams!

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edited 7/18/2012... OMG I sounded crazy and hardly could spell haha. I fixed the title...