Second Life

I was at Girlfriend's house watching her play Call of Duty when I thought - DAMN, I want to kill people too! But all I had was my laptop and if I killed Girlfriend with it then how would I log onto Facebook? Instead of killing her, I gave her a kiss on the head. This would adequately hide the dark thoughts I just had from her. She ignored the kiss and continued to "KILL ALL N00BS". My rage raged on!

I sat down with my laptop. Looked at it. Turned it on. Laughed at my funny background.

My background - LOL SILLY PONY, FIRE IS FOR KIDS

I laughed at that for a good while. That guy is totally going to mount that thing. Good thing there was some good Samaritan taking a photo of it to let the world know. MAN WITH ORANGE UNDIES - your pony touching has come to an end!

After I laughed I closed my computer and went to see Girlfriend playing CoD more. Dammit. That's what I was doing - killing people! I got back on my computer and onto Craigslist. I posted a beautiful post asking people to let me kill them. Craigslist sent me a beautiful email telling me I was breaking some rule. I don't know. I sat there, thinking... thinking... thinking... It was hard for me, but finally I decided to try Second Life. Have you heard of it? Cool, I don't really care.

Click here to see Second Life! And start your own dream!

I'm not sure if you can even kill people in Second Life. I heard about it long ago, and again a couple months ago when I read a Dean Koontz book called Darkest Evening of the Year. It's about golden retrievers, which is why I got the book in the first place. I sure do love myself some dogs, especially golden's. They are precious monsters! The book made me cry more than once, omg. SHUT UP. Okay, so anyway. There was this guy in the book that killed people in real life and was obsessed with Second Life. His obsession was so deep that his life in Second Life was his REAL ONE. I wanted what he had! 

The book that made me cry. Shut up. Again.

I'll be completely honest. I wasn't sure I could kill people on this game. I found place to buy guns but I was 00$ into the game and couldn't afford what they were selling. Maybe you just carry the guns around to look cool. That makes sense! Instead of murder, I went on a quest to find love. Real love, not that fake stuff Girlfriend and I have. A love filled with sex! Digital sex. Lots of words. WORD SEX. I was so excited! I was going to meet some frisky girl or guy and get it on Second Life style! 

Only problem was I wasn't allowed in any of the grown up spots, and had no idea how to get to private places. As a bottom feeder I had to start at the beginning: NEWBIE LAND. Or something like that. I was looking for clothes. I got a pair of really ugly white boots but fuck. I HAD BOOTS. My very own boots!! A very friendly lass informed me - on my way out of newbie land none-the-less) my character was obviously a start up one (but... but.. my boots!) and she answered lots of my questions and gave me new hair! Oh hair! She helped me find some new nice clothes too. Apparently she has some boyfriend on the game and was waiting for him, but didn't mind helping me out. She was super nice! 

But after two days and about 1 hour of game time - no one asked me for sex. I went to some sex store and saw a guy walking around with a giant sex doll on his dick, but that was it. Sorry I forgot to take a picture of it.

I was done with the game. What a waste! Before I quit it for good I took some pictures. Just for you!

First picture: (notice my cute outfit? Thanks girl I can't remember for all the help!) I got all excited because from far away I thought this girl was one of my favorite bloggers Xiaxue (check out her blog here). She wasn't. She was some person "Waiting for their mommy." Her mommy was supposed to be there to help her dress up but was late. I suggested looking down some food aisles and ran off.

I fell about 10000 feet into a river. I honestly thought I was going to die but I guess everything is on some loop.

Relaxing. Do you see that spot in the back? By the orange planet.

I floated out to her and asked if she was okay. Maybe she got stuck in the gravitational pull of the planet, but I guess they just logged off. I spent a good two minutes looking up her skirt. 

Keiry has is showing off some time period love. Apparently she is a vampire.

I kept following this person around and tried getting them to want my hot bod. This is my mating stance. I told her that the teddy bear could join, but I guess I wasn't her type. Look at those guys in the back having such a fun time. I feel gypped.

Gypped is a lot like gypsy... Am I being racist saying that?

Anyway! That was my adventure. It was really lame.

BTW - I will never kill Girlfriend! Unless she makes me really mad or if it is an accident.