Time for a serious talk, guys...

This is gross but you all need to know, because it is SERIOUS. Deadly so.

I... I have ...

Sigh. I have an ingrown toenail. Not one of these:

But one of these:

I couldn't find any pictures, so let me tell you what happened.

I cut my toenails about 3 weeks ago, a piece broke off in the corner and I just yanked it off. I do this all the time, no big deal! Except that in a couple days a throbbing pain made itself present. After a week it became unbearable so I asked a retired podiatrist what was going on. I honestly thought a piece of broken glass was stuck someplace. He glanced at it for a second and was all, "Yep, ingrown toenail."

"NOOOOO!!!!!!!!" I screamed. Lightning cracked through the clouds and rain fell in a wave over my head. "Only gross and dirty people get those!"

That is when I learned that tragedy of this proportion can and WILL affect anyone. ANYONE. Not just gross and dirty people.

Basically ripping of the nail made a crack along the edge. Small, but enough to separate a small part of the nail from the rest of it. It is still growing though, steadily and into my toe flesh. This type of ingrown toenail is common when personal trimming or getting a pedicure. So... only go to places you know you can trust or cut straight across (never at an angle) and NEVER PULL YOUR NAIL OFF HOLY SHIT JUST DON'T DO IT.

He told me to get it fixed, but instead I took matters in my own hands and dug in there with a tweezers and pulled everything out. Fixed enough, right?

For a week or two maybe. Now it is back in full force and no amount of digging and pulling could get it to come out. After being woken up all through the night from the pain of hitting the toe wrong, I gave in. I called around to find someone to do the deed.

The cheapest I could find for this HIGHLY DANGEROUS OPERATION* was $100 for the consultation and removal... $50 extra if I don't want to feel it. It's free if I get it done at the ER but then I risk them pulling a perfectly good nail off instead of just fixing the very small problem. If I do nothing it could eventually get infected (huge worry of mine if I don't get it fixed soon) or it could push itself through my toe flesh like Ahab's harpoon.

I don't want this to happen to anyone else. Ever again. EVER. So, I need ya'll to dig through your junk drawers and find your LIVESTRONG bracelets and flip them inside out. Next, write in a green (purple is fine too) sharpie: "NAILSTRONG".

This is imperative to the fight. Without these bracelets, how will people know there is a problem? Inform and teach!!



Photos!!!:
Ew, toes.
Yellow rubber circle thing


*Okay, not really.